The Illegal Amount of Denim Happening This Season Should Go To Jail

Uhhhmmm...I don't know if y'all know this but if you wear denim anywhere but your bottom half, you're a fucking loser. I mean, denim jeans (especially dark-wash skinny jeans this season) will never really go out of style.  Since the gold rush in California in 1849 (or something historically more accurate), Levi Strauss made it so that we can wear durable pants that are made of inexpensive fabric (cotton) and we love him for it.  Many different brands have made beautiful designs for our beloved jeans and we love them for it.  Even denim skirts have created a feminine, cute way to sport the neutral and casual nature of this wonder material.  However, I feel I have the right the throw up all over you if you wear too much denim.  This is not the 90s, why are you backtracking to an ugly trend?

                                                  "I'm a Slave 4 Denim" 

                                                                                 "Cry me a river..."

This picture was taken when Britney Bitch and J. Timbs were still fondling each other and telling people they were virgins...that is how outdated denim outfits are.  I am sorry, September issue of Vogue, I believe Canadian Tuxedos are back...*cough cough* sorry, back-tracking.  Anna Wintour, are you muthafuckin' serious?  Do you not remember how uggles people looked in these?  What are you gunna try and bring back/barf out next---acid wash? I have seen traces of it around and I am warning you, if I see some slampig up in da club with an acid wash vest on, I will, by pure choice, spill a drink on her as hard as I can.  And it will have sharp ice in it. Maybe I will even try to break the glass on her too.  Sorry.

This says, "My parents are hillbillies."

"My parents are hillbillies"

Do you catch my drift? She also has a camel toe in this picture which means these were not real denim...but that stretchy shit that gets swallowed by her pubeless gunch. "Can't be Tamed?" more like, "Can't be Not Heinous." "Party in the USA"...more like, "Party in the Trailer Park."

Seriously though, I love great denims as much as the next stupid cunt, but there really is no need to wear more than jeans or a skirt.  A denim hat?  Are you on the show Blossom? A denim button-up blouse? Are you my mom in 1999? A jean vest?  Are you a rah-tard?  

Peace, Love and I should be drunker...